一、翻译质量
1. 相关性有待提高;
部分方案与集团定位与业务相关性弱,主要体现在:
集团并非一家科技企业,而是一家以医疗、健康、养生业务与相关投资业务为主的企业。某些方案过分注重科技,易让人误以为这是一家科技为主的企业。此类方案包括:Guangzhou Science and Technology Group Co., Ltd.,Zone Task,zoetec,ZEATEC;
部分方案用词具有一定的局限性,如Guangzhou Nourish Group Co., Ltd的nourish易让人误解集团主要从事营养品或滋补食品业务。
2. 创新性有待提升;
部分方案选词过于通俗,偏口语化,如:Guangzhou Health Best Group Co., Ltd.;Guangzhou Super Star Group Co., Ltd.;Guangzhou Very Good Group Co., Ltd.;Guangzhou Day by day GroupCo., Ltd.
3. 用词贴切性有待增强;
部分方案搭配奇怪,或稍显夸张,或难以关联,如:Guangzhou Super Life Group Co., Ltd.; Guangzhou By Halves Group Co., Ltd.
二、翻译态度
收到的大部分方案缺乏对翻译合理性的解释,停留在“试探”或“抛砖引玉”阶段,欠深入。集团希望看到有理有据的翻译,具体提议方式详见以下翻译解析案例:
双语文学 | 又见了 I see
经对比分析与综合考虑,现对本次征集结果作出以下安排:
1. 最佳方案:空缺
空缺理由:综合考虑现有版本的翻译质量(相关性、创新性、用词贴切性、合理性、可读性、易识性等)与翻译态度(英文理由陈述),尚未找到符合标准的版本。
2. 入围方案:两个
(1)Bellachiva
入围理由:具有新颖性与国际化视野,提议者提供了大致解读思路,如下:
拉丁词素里bella为美、为佳,achiiv与英文achieve同,可解为“达”;以a结尾是欧洲许多阴性名词、名称的标志,常用于人名、地名、船舶名等;va的组合使人联想到斯拉夫女性人名(如库尓尼科娃)。总之,Bellachiva有极广泛应性,可用于拉丁、曰尔曼和斯拉夫语族地区,换言之,欧洲、南北美洲和非洲均可。且此名不局限于英语,更能体现多样性与国际化视野。
(2)Guangzhou Best Health Solutions Group
入围理由:Health Solutions在一定程度上体现了集团的业务性质:一整套健康解决方案。此版本虽简单,但较为稳妥。此外,提议者给出了较为详尽的英文理由陈述,如下:
The original English name of this company is "Guangzhou Super Best Group Limited", in which the word "Best" can be reused. Since this company was established in 2011, and its English name has been preserved for nearly 6 years, if we change too much, the reputation of this company may be influenced; what's more, "Best" can exactly present the meaning of the Chinese character "Jiada”, as we can see from the brief introduction of this company, it showed that the this company paid attention to the reciprocity, health care and courtesy delivery, all can be reflected in a word"Best";
As is shown, this company mainly manages in medical care and medical solutions, so "Health Solutions" should be added in the English name so that the natives can clearly understand what this company is mainly for;
After searching for the English websites of related companies 'English names, this style is prevelent, which can embody its international scope.